I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
