i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
