they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
