hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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