check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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