one might say we're banned from that church
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
