Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Randomize
