Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize