Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
