Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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