oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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