That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
