In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
