Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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