What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
