dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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