i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
