She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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