just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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