If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
