After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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