Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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