I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
