first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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