ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
