operation have a gay friend backfired
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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