I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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