; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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