it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is wine microwaveable?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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