8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
