Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
