just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
