I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
