i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do herpes really smell.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
