due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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