it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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