So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
