Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
