Will you blow on my dice?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
