now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We need a shit load of segways right now
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
