i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
