i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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