It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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