Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
