so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
