If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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