Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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