I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
