I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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