TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
