yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
