Nicole vs. Life
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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