i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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