And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
