Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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