awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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