DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
