I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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